We spent this weekend shopping (yes, on Friday...and mostly for ourselves!), setting up lights and decor outside for the season and tonight, a trip downtown to see the City and County of Denver Building. This building houses a few city offices but mostly Denver County courts and such...it sits across a park from the State Capital. Every year they light it up..and I mean really light it up...see:







Considering I haven't really learned all the tricks to photograph night scenes, I thought these came out OK...including this one:



And here's one before we stuffed ourselves for dinner yesterday:

Every year, my design firm organizes a food drive for the local "rescue mission" for the homeless...it's not really a shelter per say, just a place the homeless go for meals, and a warm bed on the really cold nights. Anyway, our office manager sends out a few (actually quite a few) emails to vendors, clients, and contacts announcing that we are doing this and to just drop Thanksgiving Food stuff off at our office. We take care of getting it down there...so, on the Tuesday before the holiday (today) we drive it downtown and drop it off. When I can, I like to load the Xterra and drive the stuff down there...and the group there is all set up on the sidewalk outside the facility to unload the cars...it was nice to see how appreciative these people were..not only the folks running the place, but the men and women who use the facility and work with the management to make this happen. We filled the Xterra to the top this year. We have had more donations in the past, but given the economy, I was surprised by the nice turn out by our friends, clients and vendors.

Yes, I did say two nice things...but this one had taken me awhile to process in order to record it here. See, I have been dealing with a sciatic nerve issue for almost two months....pain up and down my left leg. Now, on top of this, "something" is showing up in my left butt cheek, cancer related. So, we have been trying to figure out if it is sciatic related, or cancer related. After two MRI's, the cancer mass was somewhat confirmed but two doctors agree that it's not in the right place to be causing pain that is more similar to sciatic problems. Fast forward to yesterday....we go in and meet a pain doctor recommended by my cancer doc...and she was incredible. The plan was to go in, and get a pain shot injected at the base of my spine. We spent about 45 minutes reviewing medical records and basically giving her my life history over the past six years of battling cancer. At one point, she stops and says "it terrible when it happens to the good people..." That stopped me abit, simply because I just met this doctor an hour earlier, and she makes that assessment of me...it really humbled me..especially when I had to mention it was Stage IV, when she inquired about the severity of my cancer...

Just unloading here I guess...

I haven't done this in awhile, but I had a few worthy photos that, I think, capture the theme this month: Clouds. Here is my entry for braddumm's monthly photo challenge:







I had a tough time with this, because I had three others that I thought would work...










Comments are always welcome!

Now that the house is quiet, our routine is very different, and not in a good way...we are almost lost without the patter of four paws around...

Meanwhile, we booked a quick weekend to Rhode Island for a holiday visit the second weekend in December. What is it about the airlines? Most of the pricing was way out of whack with each other...we found pricing from 300 bucks round trip to $198, same route (which is a steal, so that helped cement the decision). I thought they all compete on the same route, so the pricing would be similar...guess not..

Here's our tribute to Alex...it's still raw, and hard to adjust without a dog here...

Mighty Dog Alex



July 1995 to November 2009

Our “little guy” Alex passed away November 6, 2009, just barely four months after his brother, Zachary.

Alex was our rock, the strong silent type. He was always the calm in the storm, the pup in the background. He would always get the attention though. If he saw a rabbit or a squirrel, all his attention would focus on that, without caring of the surroundings…and he would always run up and greet neighbors or anyone that walked up to the house.

He would cherish his walks, Phillip would come home for lunch to take him out. He would get so excited seeing Phillip pull up knowing that it’s walk time. There was no stopping him to get outside to go around the block.

Alex was in the second, surprise litter that Zachary’s parents had, a little more than six months after Zachary was born…so the two were brothers from different litters. He acted like a big brother to Zachary, and to the girl dogs when they were with us.

Up until recently, he still had that boundless energy, running across the yard to see a neighbor, jumping two stairs at a time to go upstairs with us we Bob would get home from work. His energy at this stage of his life surprised the vet.

After Zachary passed, a bit of Alex’s heart was broken, and never recovered. While he got into a routine being alone, he was best when he had either another dog, or even us to look after. He would only be comfortable sleeping right next to us on the couch, always present for us.

He will always be present with us, in his strong silent way….
Thank you my little sugar bear…

our hearts are shattered again...

Alex
1995 - 2009

I responded to an entry at a blog I read...the topic was about Maine's Marriage vote...the entry was about how we aren't going to get marriage equality by popular vote, which I agree...

Here is my comment:

Ya know, I feel the same way…tired of seeing it go to a “vote” and losing. I feel that we will never win marriage equity that way, only the courts can do it. Just like the civil rights battles in the 60’s, it was laws passed, and challenges in courts that progressed that movement. I have a feeling that the Prop 8 challenge will be in the courts for years, and we will have the up and down decisions along the way. I want to believe that most of the non-supporters are dying off, but I think that is false hope. There are plenty of younger people out there (Carrie Prejean, Matt Barber, dare I say it, Sarah Palin) that aren’t going to die off soon…and will be towing the line of the older generation that oppose gay marriage.

What do you do? I laugh at the “rallies” being organized for tonight for Maine’s vote as worthless…great, the gays are mad again…oh well, just like Lisa Simpson mentioned once at Springfield’s Pride Parade: “You do this every year, We are used to it!!" We have to do something different…I don’t know what that is. Until religion is out of the marriage business it’s going to be an uphill battle. Until then, I live with my partner, out in the community, living like a married couple. We both wear typical simple gold wedding bands as a silent sign of protest (?). Sure, we can’t have the legal aspect of marriage, but until then, we plan to act like it.

Anyway, that's how I feel about that...

Snow...of course! We got 23 inches here in our little 'burb of Parker...

See:



Every Halloween, we have pumpkin carving at the office...I've posted about that before, sometimes I go overboard. But anyway, this year, with a snow day and all, I was able to carve my monster:




It's rather simple, but hey, it's something. We won't be doing candy here this year, since we have a birthday party for two friends that night...

Six years

Six years…

I was six years ago this week that I started on a road that would save my life (so far) yet turn it upside down. In late September 2003 I went to the doctor for a very painful right knee….thinking it was a tear or something.

I never expected to hear the word “cancer”…even more so, learning the word “leiomyosarcoma” By the time all the tests and exams were done to confirm the diagnosis. I started a very aggressive chemotherapy regimen that, at first, slapped me in the face….as in “Is this really worth it?” The drugs used at that time were very toxic to me, yet they did the job. After three rounds, the tumor had shrunk enough to have the surgery to remove it. In January 2004, I sacrificed my right knee to remove the tumor, to be replaced with a limiting artificial knee. Three rounds after that I was declared “cancer free”…

So I thought.

You never really believe that, and cancer hangs over your head…

it comes back…

the majority of the time.

This cancer was an aggressive type, and very rare. So, I enjoyed two years of minor check ups, until September 2005, when it spread around my body. I then jumped into chemotherapy again, yet this time, no surgery, since it was all over. Since then, we have had “time off” from the chemo, first 14 months, then 6 months, then 4…and now completely on chemo with a few weeks here and there off.

Battling cancer is tough, and relentless. I get impatient with the process, wanting to get my drugs then feel better. The four or five days it takes to feel better seems like forever, and it gets to me. I want to be myself, something I will never be. I concern myself about my looks, I am always looking like a cancer patient. I constantly worry about what people think when they see me. It must be tough for my family to realize the new normal. I worry my dad will outlive me, something no father should do. I worry about when I will fail on the drugs I am on now. I get concerned about what the end will be like.

I’ve been thinking about all these things, and more. The icon picture is me during my two years off...when I got back to looking somewhat like I am used to seeing in the mirror.

Work, I guess...tomorrow. My fever broke Friday night and I haven't had a high temp since then. That's one sign that I am over the hump with this...no fevers for 24-48 hours. I still have a lingering cough that doesn't sound too bad...and I'll be out of my tamiflu script tomorrow morning. Although they will be happy to see me at work, I know I have to convince them that I am no longer spreading the "wealth" so to speak.

I did have to go and get three days of an IV antibiotic due to a positive result for an infection in one of the blood tests taken last Wednesday....but my doctor thinks it's a contaminate on the test, since this is a test they run twice, once from a blood draw on my arm, and one from another blood draw from my port. Even then, my doctor wanted to be cautious and treat me anyway. She redid the tests Friday, and tomorrow will know the results...I don't think it's anything, the IV's were just inconvenient since I had to go downtown for them today and yesterday.

Alex gets is house back tomorrow when I go to work....I really messed up his routine napping while I was home sick!

So I had my flu shot last Friday when I went to get my chemo blast...and what did I wake up with this morning? Sore throat and dry cough....jeez...I hope I can hold this off, since I am supposed to get chemo this coming Friday, and this type of thing will postpone it if I still feel crappy.

Lunch today: Chicken soup...so that should solve it!

Today started another round of chemo..the lighter doses. I am trying a new schedule where I will have three weeks off between rounds. It will give me more time to get my body back in shape, ready for the next round. So, I'll have the next round of drugs on October 16, then off until November. Which will be nice.

I was also able to get my flu shot today at the cancer clinic. The regular flu shot. They have been told that the H1N1 shots, which they were expecting later this month, won't be until mid to late next month...so we will see on that one. I am high on the list of people that will be getting that one first....in theory...

Today I went to my general doctor for a yearly visit and a flu shot. Everything checked out OK, except he didn't have any more flu shots in his office (he has had two batches so far..).

I have a fall back at the cancer center, because I am high on the list to get the flu shots. I will also be one to get the H1N1 when my general doctor says it's OK...he wants to make sure it's right for me.

Oh well, one way or another I should have it covered, rather than standing next to the fresh bread aisle in the grocery store and paying 25 bucks...

The scan showed "stable" disease..which means the chemo is keeping it in check. But, it also means that I stay on chemo. However, my doctor would like to spread them out abit, to give me somewhat of a rest between blasts. So, now we are going schedule three weeks between each chemo. I guess that will help, I won't feel like I am sick all the time.

I don't have chemo scheduled until October 9.

On a lighter note, someone in the office brought some grapes in yesterday, and what was left was put in the refrigerator with a note: "Thanks for whoever brought these delicious grapes in, it stopped me from having chocolate and unhealthy fattening snacks after lunch". Well, I could not let that go...so I attached a note to that note that read, simply, "Next time, leave chocolate". Gotta keep it light here...

Well, my scan WAS scheduled for today...but I got a call that the machine is down, and the repair man has been called. So, instead of starving all day (they wanted to re-schedule for this afternoon), I put it off until tomorrow. I can't eat 8 hours before the scan, so basically I haven't eaten since last night...and I wasn't going to prolong that to this afternoon.

They think the machine will be up later today, so I should be good to go first thing tomorrow morning...

On "That's why they call us the Pupdads"...Alex went to the vets on Saturday to get his "Senior Wellness" check up, and have some blood drawn. He is on a few medications and they like to check blood levels and such. They also wanted to get a urine sample, but while Alex was there, he was all peed out. No luck for the vet techs to collect anything from him.

So, they sent us home with a cup and told us to bring back a sample. Picture it: 5:45 am this morning in the dark (the time he and I get out of bed), letting Alex out, and me, in my jammies still, following him around with an old coffee mug to get a sample. While he does his business, he's looking back at me trying to figure out what the heck I am doing.

And so, with that, I proudly deliver the sample to the vet office today on my way into work. That's why we are the Pupdads!

it's another. For weeks I have needed to take my Xterra in for an oil change. Finally got around to scheduling it for today. So, I drive to the dealership where the Xterra has always been serviced, pulled in and turned it off. Well, that was the end of that....all it did now was "click-click-click" when turning the key. Long story short, after 52,800 miles, the battery was dead. Kinda freaky it happened right there, at the dealer, for a routine service.

One hour and 134 dollars later, new oil and a new charged battery all ready to go...oh, and it was washed!

My platelet number doubled to 65 yesterday, so I am trending upward, the way I need to go. I am all set until Oct 2, which is an extra week off, due to next week's scan..it will be nice to have that extra week. I am assuming that after the scan I will have at least two more rounds of chemo, unless the scan comes back really clean. The odds of that happening are slim. I know my doctor likes to do six rounds, and we have done four already....so we will see...

33...that was my platelet number today at my blood draw at the cancer center...should be 100-140 to be normal...so I have to make sure to take it easy, since I basically have not blood clotting protection should I start bleeding and such. The doctor scheduled my next scan, which will be the week of September 30...which means I have next week off from chemo.

I took today off from work for the doctor's appointment then went up to Boulder to have lunch with a college friend who I haven't seen in about 15 years. He was dating his now wife when we were in college, and I know her too. It was great to see him and catch up with him, and nice to have the day off.